Limbo

I feel like I have been in limbo for the past few weeks, shuttling from training to the office and getting only a small portion of the things I need to get done work-wise. Going from seminar venue to the office take time, as does verifying items taken up in training while completing requirements for 'business-as-usual' projects.

Weekends are not much better, and I have gotten into a routine of going out Saturdays to purchase regular grocery items, then sleeping and/or watching TV on Sundays. I have discovered why Desperate Housewives the TV series has become so popular from my tv bingeing-weekends, and feel a little desperate myself. For some unknown reason, I feel trapped in a cycle that I can't get out of. Mind you this is not work-related stress because I do not feel particularly harrassed at work as I can still afford to leave at 6:30 or 7:30PM, but something else.

My theory is that I have gotten what I wanted but not exactly -- got the new job and salary I have been looking for but not the life I have imagined myself to live. Early this year, I have been discussing with a friend how I wanted a routinary job where I can leave on the dot yet save up enough for holiday trips or small luxuries. I would be extremely happy doing library work, or even a clerical job where one is not required deep thinking.

This of course is just not possible in the country I live in, where high pay equals living on take-outs and long nights at the office. Where a comfortable income demands a lot from you, short of selling your soul to the devil. The sad thing is, other countries allow for 9 to 5 work in exchange for a good enough salary you can not only survive on but afford for yourself the good life. Some foreign companies even discourage overtime.

To make matters worse, this country has become a circus with a competent ring master constantly threatened by freak shows wanting to take over: a senator with a track record of violence and corruption; a disgruntled widow without the skill nor education to lead a nation; a religious leader with questionable wealth and integrity; and an ex-President known for supporting his countless mistresses with public funds (source from taxes and gambling alike). I am not pro-administration but given the options, the one at the helm is the soundest option, tape or no tape.